Rain

It's raining this morning. A slow, steady rain that we've needed for weeks. It's so refreshing and soothing just to watch it come down.

Water

I was born in a drought year. That summer
my mother waited in the house, enclosed
in the sun and the dry ceaseless wind,
for the men to come back in the evenings,
bringing water from a distant spring.
veins of leaves ran dry, roots shrank.
And all my life I have dreaded the return
of that year, sure that it still is
somewhere, like a dead enemy’s soul. Fear
of dust in my mouth is always with me,
and I am the faithful husband of the rain,
I love the water of wells and springs
and the taste of roofs in the water of cisterns.
I am a dry man whose thirst is praise
of clouds, and whose mind is something of a cup.
My sweetness is to wake in the night
after days of dry heat, hearing the rain.

~ Wendell Berry

Summer

Summer is such a beautiful time, and this summer has been particularly gorgeous. The raspberry bushes that run the entire length of our back yard are in full bloom, little teeny peppers and green tomatoes are making their appearance in our garden, and at this very moment a bright red cardinal is peeking at me from the lawn. I love our little country oasis in the city. The weather has been fantastic this year, which is something to be said in a land where the weather is the ever-present source of complaint. Sure, we got off to a slow start and could use some rain but you won't hear a peep out of me. Just to be able to type ala picnic table, taking in the evening breeze (ok, and the rumble of low-flying jets) is a dream come true.

I feel a little conflicted tonight in the midst of all this summer beauty. I'm in the middle of a job search process, which always brings out demons of self-worth, identity, and ultimate purpose, and doing it (again) in the middle of a rather sluggish economy. (What is with my picking such terrible economic times to graduate? My last great job search was in '02 when the post 9/11 woes had hit full stride.) So, I'm questioning my purpose and trying to balance my idealist and realist sides. I would like to make some sort of difference in the world. Always have. And not in the over idealistic "I'm going to change the world"sort of way. I'm a little too logical for that. But in the purposeful "I'm going to get some skills and figure out how to do something worthwhile and meaningful and hopefully be able to support myself doing it" kind of way. The problem seems to be the folks in charge of the non-profit variety of "worthwhile and meaningful" don't seem to value the financial investment in skills it takes to have something to contribute, while the folks in the public sector variety seem to want to hold you under water until maybe you forget how to do something worthwhile and meaningful once you have the opportunity. So, do you take a deep breath and hold it until you're in a place where you can come up for air? Do you find out you can actually breathe under water and there's a whole new world under there where you can make a difference? Do you set aside your investments of time and money to contribute to the cause? Does that ultimately leave you better or worse off? There's opportunity but also a gamble either way. And I know it might be easy to say, "Forget the salary if it's satisfying." But there's something to be said for having something to invest in other ways of making a difference beyond your own position of employment. On the other hand, the people I admire most are those who live out their passion and talents despite great personal sacrifice. It's hard to know what compromises are ok to make. I realize this is a little overly gloomy for such a lovely summer evening, but, man, even with some good irons in the fire this process can suck the breath out of you. I'm trying not to wrap my identity too much around my place of employment, but it's hard not to confuse what I do with who I am.

So, sunlight and tumult. It's summer in Minnesota again, with all its brilliance and beauty, along with its occasional thunderstorm.

My Friend Tim

"Tim's been down for the count over the past few days with a herniated disc in his back. It's been difficult to watch him go through this. The hardest part is knowing I can't make the pain go away. I can pray for him and support him through it, but I can't fix it. "- I started writing this post way back in May when Tim's back first became unendurable. It's been 14 weeks since his surgery now and I've seen him walk through things this summer that I wish no one had to endure. What made me first want to write this post is still true though, 3 1/2 months later: in walking through this pain together, our friendship has grown deeper and more true. I love him with everything I have and I am so blessed to have the privilege of calling him my friend along with my love.

The Joy of Childhood II

And a few more...I'm trying to figure out how to rotate vertical pictures so they're not sideways on the post. Any words of wisdom? Anyone, anyone, Buler?

The Joy of Childhood

Nicki, Mark, and the kids were here to visit for a couple of weeks in March. It was so great to see them again. The timing worked out perfectly so that they were here over both Spring Break and my birthday, and we got to spend a lot of time together. Here are some of my favorite photos of their visit.

A Crazy April

It's been a wild Minnesota April. Beyond just waiting for graduation to come this spring, it feels like we've been waiting forever for spring itself to come. We've had more snow this April than I can remember in a long while and just a few nice, sunshiney days to carry us through. I think our little sprouts are feeling it the most. They came up all happy and ready to take on the world and now look at them. Poor little sprouts. They're no longer what I would call happy.

The Equinox

So I meant to post this a while ago, but did you know that on the equinox an egg will stand on end all by itself? Who knew? A new trick Tim's mom taught me.

Good Ole American Breakfast

Kim is back from Poland, so Rebekah and I went out to breakfast with her early this morning. Of all the places I've been, the U.S. by far has the best breakfasts in my opinion. Good to have Kim visit even as Beks is getting ready to leave again. Nice to have the time together. I especially like the guy behind us in the second photo who made it a point to be sure he was looking for the photos. He also seemed particularly interested in our conversation this morning. Guess he was bored. We certainly weren't that interesting.

Ok, ok so something new

So, I've gotten a request (of the "You're keeeling me" kind) to update the blog. Ok, ok a little time has passed. So, what have I been up to? Well, the broomball season has come and gone. I'd say this year was a success. I played with the same group from grad school and we added a few ringers this year. Especially a phenomenal goalie. We finished with no losses and scored more goals our last game than in the two seasons up to that point. Not too shabby. I can also say I've added broomball shoes to the sports equipment reportoire in the basement. I'll post some pics when I get a chance.

Classes have started for my last semester. It's a more laid back semester than the others. I'm working half-time at the school, so that certainly keeps me busy but don't have the consistent late nights I've had the other semesters. I'm trying to keep motivated despite the lighter schedule, which is harder than you'd think. I'm also trying not to be completely terrified by the job search process. I'll keep you posted on that one I guess.

Hockey's wrapping up. Had three games this weekend and done for the regular season. A tournament game or two to go and then nationals at the end of March. It's gone fast this year - it's amazing how fast the hockey season can make the winter go- and at the same time has felt long. Six months of hockey is probably enough. I'm ready for spring.

I've been having a great time with Tim, even though we have to fight for time together more with classes starting. He's been great about that the whole time- so flexible with me. I'm very thankful for that. For Valentine's this year we had dinner at Thistle in Robbinsdale, which was a great pick. Small setting, candles burning, music, great food, and a rose for every woman that night. It was beautiful. We also got a chance to visit his parents in Willmar that weekend, which was incredibly relaxing. We sat by the fire whenever we got a chance, did a little cross country skiing, and lost soundly to his mom at Dutch Blitz. It was a great time. My sister and her family are coming to visit here in March, so he'll finally get a chance to meet them then. Looking forward to that.

Alright, hope this satisfies the curious and frustrated for now. More to come soon (um, but maybe don't hold your breath ;) ). Now, onto homework.

-k