Policy vs. Politics

I was having a conversation with my dad over lunch today that reminded me about a post I wanted to write awhile back. Just finishing studying for a degree in public policy a lot of people ask me if I want to go into politics and the answer is no. The reason is the difference between policy and politics. As I see it, it's the same difference as between cake and frosting. Policy is the cake, the substance, the thing that actually fills you up, while politics is the frosting, the sugary part that makes it go down easier. Just like cake, you need about the right amount of substance and sugar to make things work well, but what I care about is the substance.

As I've thought more about it, I actually really love this analogy because I have yet to see it really fall apart on me. Too much frosting with too little cake and you have something that looks wonderful but makes your stomach churn as soon as you ingest it, leaves you longing for something more satisfying (or at least some good, cold milk to tone it down). Too much cake and too little frosting makes for something that's very filling but not as easy to sell, many people will pass it by for some more desireable-looking option. The thing is, just as you can develop a taste for dense, almost bitter dark chocolate flourless cake with just a dash of powdered sugar, I think you can develop a taste for sound policy with just a touch of political finesse to ease it through the process. But it takes time and it takes tasting enough sickly sweet full frosting concoctions to realize there's something else out there that may look less appealing but is ultimately more satisfying.

Long live the cake.

Rain

It's raining this morning. A slow, steady rain that we've needed for weeks. It's so refreshing and soothing just to watch it come down.

Water

I was born in a drought year. That summer
my mother waited in the house, enclosed
in the sun and the dry ceaseless wind,
for the men to come back in the evenings,
bringing water from a distant spring.
veins of leaves ran dry, roots shrank.
And all my life I have dreaded the return
of that year, sure that it still is
somewhere, like a dead enemy’s soul. Fear
of dust in my mouth is always with me,
and I am the faithful husband of the rain,
I love the water of wells and springs
and the taste of roofs in the water of cisterns.
I am a dry man whose thirst is praise
of clouds, and whose mind is something of a cup.
My sweetness is to wake in the night
after days of dry heat, hearing the rain.

~ Wendell Berry

Summer

Summer is such a beautiful time, and this summer has been particularly gorgeous. The raspberry bushes that run the entire length of our back yard are in full bloom, little teeny peppers and green tomatoes are making their appearance in our garden, and at this very moment a bright red cardinal is peeking at me from the lawn. I love our little country oasis in the city. The weather has been fantastic this year, which is something to be said in a land where the weather is the ever-present source of complaint. Sure, we got off to a slow start and could use some rain but you won't hear a peep out of me. Just to be able to type ala picnic table, taking in the evening breeze (ok, and the rumble of low-flying jets) is a dream come true.

I feel a little conflicted tonight in the midst of all this summer beauty. I'm in the middle of a job search process, which always brings out demons of self-worth, identity, and ultimate purpose, and doing it (again) in the middle of a rather sluggish economy. (What is with my picking such terrible economic times to graduate? My last great job search was in '02 when the post 9/11 woes had hit full stride.) So, I'm questioning my purpose and trying to balance my idealist and realist sides. I would like to make some sort of difference in the world. Always have. And not in the over idealistic "I'm going to change the world"sort of way. I'm a little too logical for that. But in the purposeful "I'm going to get some skills and figure out how to do something worthwhile and meaningful and hopefully be able to support myself doing it" kind of way. The problem seems to be the folks in charge of the non-profit variety of "worthwhile and meaningful" don't seem to value the financial investment in skills it takes to have something to contribute, while the folks in the public sector variety seem to want to hold you under water until maybe you forget how to do something worthwhile and meaningful once you have the opportunity. So, do you take a deep breath and hold it until you're in a place where you can come up for air? Do you find out you can actually breathe under water and there's a whole new world under there where you can make a difference? Do you set aside your investments of time and money to contribute to the cause? Does that ultimately leave you better or worse off? There's opportunity but also a gamble either way. And I know it might be easy to say, "Forget the salary if it's satisfying." But there's something to be said for having something to invest in other ways of making a difference beyond your own position of employment. On the other hand, the people I admire most are those who live out their passion and talents despite great personal sacrifice. It's hard to know what compromises are ok to make. I realize this is a little overly gloomy for such a lovely summer evening, but, man, even with some good irons in the fire this process can suck the breath out of you. I'm trying not to wrap my identity too much around my place of employment, but it's hard not to confuse what I do with who I am.

So, sunlight and tumult. It's summer in Minnesota again, with all its brilliance and beauty, along with its occasional thunderstorm.

My Friend Tim

"Tim's been down for the count over the past few days with a herniated disc in his back. It's been difficult to watch him go through this. The hardest part is knowing I can't make the pain go away. I can pray for him and support him through it, but I can't fix it. "- I started writing this post way back in May when Tim's back first became unendurable. It's been 14 weeks since his surgery now and I've seen him walk through things this summer that I wish no one had to endure. What made me first want to write this post is still true though, 3 1/2 months later: in walking through this pain together, our friendship has grown deeper and more true. I love him with everything I have and I am so blessed to have the privilege of calling him my friend along with my love.

The Joy of Childhood II

And a few more...I'm trying to figure out how to rotate vertical pictures so they're not sideways on the post. Any words of wisdom? Anyone, anyone, Buler?

The Joy of Childhood

Nicki, Mark, and the kids were here to visit for a couple of weeks in March. It was so great to see them again. The timing worked out perfectly so that they were here over both Spring Break and my birthday, and we got to spend a lot of time together. Here are some of my favorite photos of their visit.

A Crazy April

It's been a wild Minnesota April. Beyond just waiting for graduation to come this spring, it feels like we've been waiting forever for spring itself to come. We've had more snow this April than I can remember in a long while and just a few nice, sunshiney days to carry us through. I think our little sprouts are feeling it the most. They came up all happy and ready to take on the world and now look at them. Poor little sprouts. They're no longer what I would call happy.

The Equinox

So I meant to post this a while ago, but did you know that on the equinox an egg will stand on end all by itself? Who knew? A new trick Tim's mom taught me.

Good Ole American Breakfast

Kim is back from Poland, so Rebekah and I went out to breakfast with her early this morning. Of all the places I've been, the U.S. by far has the best breakfasts in my opinion. Good to have Kim visit even as Beks is getting ready to leave again. Nice to have the time together. I especially like the guy behind us in the second photo who made it a point to be sure he was looking for the photos. He also seemed particularly interested in our conversation this morning. Guess he was bored. We certainly weren't that interesting.

Ok, ok so something new

So, I've gotten a request (of the "You're keeeling me" kind) to update the blog. Ok, ok a little time has passed. So, what have I been up to? Well, the broomball season has come and gone. I'd say this year was a success. I played with the same group from grad school and we added a few ringers this year. Especially a phenomenal goalie. We finished with no losses and scored more goals our last game than in the two seasons up to that point. Not too shabby. I can also say I've added broomball shoes to the sports equipment reportoire in the basement. I'll post some pics when I get a chance.

Classes have started for my last semester. It's a more laid back semester than the others. I'm working half-time at the school, so that certainly keeps me busy but don't have the consistent late nights I've had the other semesters. I'm trying to keep motivated despite the lighter schedule, which is harder than you'd think. I'm also trying not to be completely terrified by the job search process. I'll keep you posted on that one I guess.

Hockey's wrapping up. Had three games this weekend and done for the regular season. A tournament game or two to go and then nationals at the end of March. It's gone fast this year - it's amazing how fast the hockey season can make the winter go- and at the same time has felt long. Six months of hockey is probably enough. I'm ready for spring.

I've been having a great time with Tim, even though we have to fight for time together more with classes starting. He's been great about that the whole time- so flexible with me. I'm very thankful for that. For Valentine's this year we had dinner at Thistle in Robbinsdale, which was a great pick. Small setting, candles burning, music, great food, and a rose for every woman that night. It was beautiful. We also got a chance to visit his parents in Willmar that weekend, which was incredibly relaxing. We sat by the fire whenever we got a chance, did a little cross country skiing, and lost soundly to his mom at Dutch Blitz. It was a great time. My sister and her family are coming to visit here in March, so he'll finally get a chance to meet them then. Looking forward to that.

Alright, hope this satisfies the curious and frustrated for now. More to come soon (um, but maybe don't hold your breath ;) ). Now, onto homework.

-k

politics

So far, I've tried to stay away from heady issues on my blog. I've seen it as a chance to escape all the readings and thinking I'm doing as part of grad school and remind myself of the other parts of life and other pieces of who I am. But sometimes you have to tie those things together or you start to feel very inconsistent and scattered among the different arenas of life. I'd rather try to be consistent even at the expense of levity. I have to say I'm tired of the political season already and we have nearly a year to go before the election. My difficulty with politics as they are now is not that they are "political" and that policy is as much about relationships and constituent blocks as it is about coming up with genuine answers to questions. I do wish that would change but I think I've come to accept that it won't. What I really wish, though, is that there was a party that spoke to the middle. Instead of allowing wedge issues to rule Party agendas and carry both to the extreme position in order to capture a base, I wish someone would realize there may very well be more to won by focusing on the center and those issues that connect constituencies rather than divide them. At this point in my life, I have to consider myself an independent. Not an I can't decide and don't really care independent, but an I really do care but neither party addresses issues completely enough to choose sides independent. Both have things to offer and both have drawbacks. What is discouraging for those in the center who actually would like to see good policy made (maybe even study it), is a lack of recognition of this. Hopefully the pendulum will swing more toward the center again, but in the meantime it makes following politics a more complicated (although, admittedly perhaps more engaging) proposition.

simple things

candles and christmas trees. fresh snow. kids sledding with rosy cheeks and runny noses. a mug of hot cocoa. pine boughs and mistletoe. these are things i love about this time of year.

now back to writing papers...

Promised Pics

Here are a few pics of the AK trip and the kiddos.

On AK and Being an Aunty

My sister, her husband and their three cutest kids in the world are moving today from AK to the warmer temps of CA. I got the chance to visit them during their year in the frozen north and we had a fantastic time packing all six of us into a minivan, pulling a pop-up camper all over the state (and it's a big state, let me tell you). The views were spectacular. Mountain ranges opened up in front of our little caravan, inviting us up into their incredible heights and then thrusting us on to even greater views once we got there. We drove from Fairbanks, in north Central AK, to Seward, on the Kenai Penninsula, along the southern coast.

Along the way, we introduced the kids to camping...well, at least car camping... and I think we've recruited a new crop of adventurers to the wilderness. We fed them smores, let them ride their bikes all over the campground, and took them on walks and hikes where they found lots of moose poop (put that down, honey...). It was great. I'm writing this from a hotel room in Duluth but I'll post pictures when I get back home. All in all it was a fantastic trip. One of the best things for me (beyond just the chance to spend the time with Nic and the fam) was the chance to show the kids new things. It's one of the best things about being an aunty. A few years ago I taught the boys how to have a pillow fight. Didn't necessarily get the aunty gold star on that one, so I've tried to stick to more productive efforts since, like blowing dandelions and avoiding mammal excrement. Seem like good skills to know.

I love being an aunt. Maybe it's just the particular kids I get to be an aunt to but I have to say they're pretty great. Big brown eyes. Twinkling with just the right amount of mischief. Huge smiles. Squeaky little voices. Love those kids. Pictures to come.

Running for the Bus

I had to run to catch the bus this morning. As I was locking my front door I could hear it coming down the street. I looked up and noticed no one was standing at my stop, which meant there was no reason for it to slow down. I started to run. And for as silly as I felt running for the bus like a ten-year-old schoolkid, it felt good to run on a cold, windy morning. Who needs coffee? Well, ok, I did a few hours later.

MN State Fair

It's just tradition. The best place for people watching, pronto pups, Sweet Martha's cookies... and MN randomness.

Up North

Alright, so I know I've been silent for awhile now. I'll try to make up for it with some stunning photos. Tim and I went up north camping with some friends and great fun was had by all. Our campground was cozy, shall we say, a little smaller than it seemed online and our site was a little close to the road but it worked out just fine. Very cute little family place with a playground for the kids and canoes, kayaks, and a pontoon for the grown-ups. After months of teasing I finally got into a canoe with Tim, and we managed to see a pair of otters for just a second as they peaked their heads up out of the water. We also got do a little hiking- up the river at Tettagouche, snaking along the river from the lower falls to the upper and at Gooseberry. You could tell the water was really low but the view was as beautiful as ever. I forgot my hiking boots so was wandering around in my Teva flip-flops all weekend. I have to say if I wasn't sold on Tevas before, I am now. We tromped around for hours and my feet never hurt. Tripped a few times but I'm not so sure that had anything to do with the shoes.

There was still a fire ban up north for anywhere off the lake but we managed to find a marina right along Superior with a fire ring. It was a perfect night with a full moon shining bright on the water and the flames keeping us warm. We ate smores til we couldn't hold anymore. The next day at that same marina we also clambored over a walkway of huge Great Lake boulders out to an island just off shore, again me in my Tevas. Tim was a champ for sticking with me and picking out a good route for us on the rocks. We got out to the island and realized the only way up the rock face was a rope left there with knots to hoist yourself up and some driftwood for help. It was amazing. I like to think of it as Survivor: Silver Bay, MN. We had a great time out there. Some of the photos below are from that island.

Great time. So glad to finally make it camping this summer.

The Night Sky

I was laying in the hammock the other night, just staring up at the sky. I love the stars. Strange that things so far away can touch me in a way that nothing near can. They make me feel small but in a very comforting, no-your-life-is-not-the-center-of-the-universe and this-too (whatever it is)- shall-pass kind of way. It's a very comforting small.

I'm heading up north in a week and one of the things I'm looking forward to most is lying on the rocks in the dark as I listen to the waves and stare at the stars.

"Without a wish, without a will, I stood upon that silent hill and stared into the sky until
my eyes were blinded with stars, and still I stared into the sky."
Ralph Hodgson

"We had the sky up there, all speckled with stars, and we used to lay on our backs and look up at them, and discuss about whether they was made or only just happened."
Mark Twain

"If the stars should appear but one night every thousand years how man would marvel and stare."
Ralph Waldo Emerson

"For my part I know nothing with any certainty, but the sight of the stars makes me dream."
Vincent Van Gogh

"Though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light. I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night."
Sarah Williams

"If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I'll bet they'd live a lot differently."
Bill Waterson (ah, Bill Waterson :) )

Water + Laptop = Very Bad

So this should be a no brainer, I know. But still, there I was typing away on my laptop on the coffeetable with a glass of water next to me. One minute all was well and the next, there was water everywhere and my laptop was, well, kaput. So, I'm updating this now via my roommate's computer. Thank goodness for roommates. And it seems now I'm in the market for a new laptop. If you have rave reviews about your new ibook or dell or whatever and you think I should definitely buy one, let me know. Suggestions are good.

The New Place

It's great. Maybe that's all there is to say. I have a blue room with a window that looks onto the park. There are flowers at the curb and raspberries in the backyard. We sat out late last night on the back porch with wine and chocolate, while the girls chopped zuchini and I put my great new sunflowers in a vase. And I thought, "This is the life." Beautiful Minnesota night with good friends. And with the backdrop of sadness that's surrounded Minnesota these past few days, those simple pleasures seem all the sweeter.